I think we’ve clearly established from my last post, that I worry – way too much, about way too many things.
While we’re on the topic, why don’t I throw in something else that worries me, perhaps even more so than the little things:
I worry about what other people think of me.
Are they thinking, I can’t believe she asked a stupid question like that – she’ll never be successful!
Are they thinking, she shouldn’t be wearing a dress like that?!
Are they thinking, her makeup looks terrible today – she’s obviously a terrible makeup artist!
Are they thinking, Christie is useless at writing, what’s she playing at by starting a blog?!
Perhaps some people do think such thoughts, perhaps they don’t. Either way, it’s an entirely natural (and unfortunately very common) trait to relatively compare and judge ourselves against others.
But, should I care about others’ opinions? It’s a waste of my time, and it forces my energy to be channelled into trying to impress others and meet their expectations – when I could instead be using that energy to grow into a more successful person, based on my own expectations of myself.
I’ve been exploring some strategies into how I can avoid the “worrying what other people think” trap.
- Often, it’s just my mind creating thoughts about what others might be thinking. It’s my own self-doubt that drives this, so I need to believe in myself and my ability to be successful.
- Know what I want to achieve and not let others’ opinions sway this. I have been using my lost list (and unpublished bucket list) as a guide for this. I have my lists, and I will tick the items off in my own time.
- Remember that others opinions are exactly that – opinions. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Although others’ may differ, it doesn’t automatically validate their thoughts over mine.
- If my idea/look/skill is rejected, that’s okay. There is rarely a clear path to success. Some of the most successful people have zigzagged their way to where they are. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?
- Even the most successful people have haters. Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Donald Trump. They’ve all got people who dislike them, yet has this caused them to shy away from success? Nope.
I’m the first to admit, this is a hard process for me. I hate conflict of opinions, and when others doubt my ability to do something, this affects me immensely.
So I’m starting with superstar Lady Gaga for some inspiration. I was reading this weekend’s Canvas magazine (from The Weekend Herald), and one of Gaga’s quotes keeps running over and over in my mind. The following was in response to the interviewer’s question about what her ‘stamp’ will be on the universe…
She was always herself. She was fearless, and she moved pop culture, technology, art and music forward relentlessly, and she never gave a f*** what anybody though about her.
Today is the day I stop giving my mind permission to be influenced by others. Today is the day I stop worrying about what other people think.
Here’s to becoming fearless!
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
Do you allow others’ opinions to stop you from achieving what you really want?